They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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