Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
love makes seman taste better
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
