What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
