quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
