the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
