I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
