I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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