she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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