Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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