Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
