the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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