Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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