im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
