You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
