My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
