Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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