false alarm. still invincible.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
