I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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