Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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