Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Randomize
