Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
