we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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