On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I got inside last night via doggy door
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
