I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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