I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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