Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize