we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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