You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
