my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
