well you can't waste a boner
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
