I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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