the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Let's paint friendship bongs
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
