Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
