That's when you crack a 10am beer
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The feeling are messing with the penis
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I touched a dick in church today
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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