I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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