I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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