So drunk, too bad you don't want this
im holly from the hills drunk
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
