Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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