Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
