Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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