Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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