I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
