so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
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