She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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