So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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