You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize