3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
