It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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