what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
