I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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