mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
