There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
