you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
