so let's talk penis.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
