I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
