what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Randomize
