who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
