I want to stick my p in your. b.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
