I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
is wine microwaveable?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
