i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
