shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
3pm strippers are depressing
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
