If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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