Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
