direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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